SexyAF Embracing Sex Positivity, Self-Discovery, and Confidence
The Sex Positivity Movement and All My Thoughts
Sex positivity is the idea that sexuality is a natural, healthy part of life and that pleasure, exploration, and connection should be embraced rather than feared or shamed. It’s about having agency over your body, your desires, and your experiences. It’s about dismantling outdated narratives that tell us we’re wrong, dirty, or broken for wanting sex, enjoying sex, or not wanting it at all.
For me, sex positivity has become a personal value, a creative lens, and a parenting tool. It’s not just about being comfortable with sexuality, it’s about being curious, empowered, and informed.
Why Sex Ed Failed Us
Let’s be honest; most of us didn’t get sex education. We got fear education. I still remember fifth grade: the horrifying birth video, the awkward "you'll bleed soon" talk, and the weird pads stuffed into our backpacks. Nothing about pleasure, hormones, emotional connection, or what actually happens when two people connect physically.
What if someone gave us tools instead of leaving us to fumble around? What if someone explained the chemical cocktail that happens during sex? When we orgasm, our brains release dopamine (pleasure), oxytocin (bonding), serotonin (mood), and prolactin (satisfaction). That combination can literally cloud your judgment. It makes you attached, even when you know someone’s wrong for you.
We need to start giving young people the real story, not scare tactics. Which brings me to …
The Birth of SexyAF
As a Creative Director, I’m constantly building brands and content around things that interest me, like short-term rentals, the female golf scene, and romantic getaways. SexyAF started as a joke between a partner and me, a fictitious brand name for all the fun, sexy, empowering products we wished existed. But over time, it turned into something real. SexyAF became a lens I used to explore what makes people feel confident, curious, and comfortable in their sexuality.
We started creating product ideas like:
The SexyAF Scrunchie to hold your hair back when you need it most
The SexyAF Sex Hook for keeping your clothes off the floor during sex
Sex wipes and custom aftercare kits
And yes, themed T-shirts because... always
And because I’m an Amazon Influencer, I started building curated edits of all my favorite finds. Real products for real people, in real situations that usually don’t get talked about.
Let’s Start With Periods
Most of us didn’t fully understand our menstrual cycles until we were trying to get pregnant. That’s wild. Even now, we treat periods like something to hide. So I created a period kit to support both girls experiencing their first period and women looking for a more thoughtful, empowering way to care for themselves.
Shop my period kit Amazon edit, which includes:
A few of my favorite period books
Pads, tampons, and period underwear
A spare pair of leggings, just in case
Heating patches, wipes, and pain relief
A pouch that works on the go to keep you organized
The Mind-Body Connection
Sexuality isn’t just physical, it’s about knowing yourself. Tuning into what you need, what you like, and how your energy rises and falls through your cycle is not just helpful; it’s healing.
Once I started tracking my cycle, my productivity and creativity changed. I could anticipate when I needed more rest or when I’d be super social or inspired.
It's important to know your own body and also your partner's body. If we had a better understanding of cycles, of pregnancy, and our self-pleasure. We could make better choices on our energy, mind, and physical connections.
Anxiety, Creativity, and Sexuality
Anxiety can shut down your libido. It makes you disconnect from your body, go into survival mode, and forget what it feels like to play. But do you know what kills anxiety?
Creativity.
When you’re dancing, drawing, making something, or having connected, safe sex, you drop out of your overthinking mind and back into your body. Sex is creative energy in motion. And the best sex isn’t performance; it’s presence.
Let’s Talk Consent
Consent is everything. Not just required; it’s sexy. Asking, checking in, reading the room, tuning into body language, that’s what builds trust. And trust leads to pleasure, ease, and connection.
Want to turn someone on? Make them feel safe first.
Understanding Orgasms
Let’s bust a myth: most women do not orgasm from penetration alone. Clitoral stimulation is key. There are many types of orgasms clitoral, vaginal, blended, anal, and nipple and solo exploration is how most of us figure out what works for our bodies.
For women, orgasms tend to be more complex, sometimes requiring external stimulation, emotional connection, and relaxation. For men, orgasms are often more reflexive and physically driven, but they still carry powerful emotional and hormonal effects. Understanding these differences can improve connection, empathy, and intimacy between partners.
Self-pleasure isn’t a backup plan. It’s the foundation. Try making it a ritual. Light a candle. Play a playlist. Hydrate. And build in time to rest or recover, which brings me to my Self-Care Amazon edit. Try making it a ritual. Light a candle. Play a playlist. Hydrate. And build in time to rest or recover.
Shop my Self Care Edit
The Aftercare Basket
After sex, different people need different things. Some people want cuddles. Others want space. There’s biology behind this hormone shifts that affect men and women differently after orgasm. That’s why I made the Aftercare Basket part of SexyAF.
Feminine-leaning basket ideas:
Fuzzy socks
Soft blanket
Wipes
Snacks
Herbal tea or hydration packets
Robe
Masculine-leaning basket ideas:
Snacks
Eye mask
Calming essential oil
Mood lighting
A pillow speaker
Sleep shorts
Shop my aftercare basket Amazon edit
The Afterglow Kit
Let’s retire the term “walk of shame.” If anything, it’s a strut of confidence. So I made the Afterglow Kit your stylish, no-regrets solution for the morning after. Bonus vibe: Listen to Walk of Shame by Erica Sunshine☀️ Lee
What’s in it:
Black leggings and a tank top
Fresh underwear
Collapsible flats
Makeup remover wipes
Deodorant, tinted balm
Toothbrush and toothpaste
Advil, hydration packets
Granola bar
A foldable bag for your heels or dress
Shop my Afterglow Kit Amazon Edit
SexyAF Tee Shirts
Sometimes, confidence is as simple as putting on a T-shirt that says exactly how you feel. I designed a collection of fun, cheeky tees that make people smile and sometimes start really good conversations.
Shop my SexyAF Tee Shirts
Call Me Daddy
I Love My Wife’s Butt
Consent Is Sexy
You Had Me at Safe Word
SexyAF Resources
Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski — This book changed the game for understanding female desire, pleasure, and the science of arousal. It breaks down the myths and gives language to experiences many of us have never felt safe talking about.
Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari — A witty, data-driven deep dive into how dating and relationships have evolved in the digital age. It offers a humorous but real perspective on connection, expectation, and intimacy.
The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins — This one helped me stop obsessing over how others perceived me and start focusing on taking action in my own life. There's a whole section on relationships that helped me reframe how I approach love, boundaries, and self-worth.
Confidence Is a Lifestyle
Sex positivity is just one part of feeling SexyAF. Confidence touches everything: the way you dress, how you care for yourself, and the way you move through the world. And creativity is at the heart of it all.
Being creative with your self-expression, your pleasure, your partnerships, and your mindset is what allows you to evolve and stay connected to yourself. For me, creativity is how SexyAF came to life. It’s how I’ve explored and expressed my values around sexuality, healing, empowerment, and fun.
Sex-positive products are consistently top sellers in my Amazon Influencer storefront and my Etsy shop, Tee Shirt Bonus. That tells me that other people are craving these conversations and these tools, too. Whether it’s a cheeky T-shirt, a first-period kit, or a post-hookup reset bag, these products aren’t just about sex — they’re about self-care, confidence, and permission.
So, whether you're diving into a solo ritual, creating your own aftercare experience, or just wearing a shirt that makes you feel powerful, remember: feeling SexyAF starts with knowing who you are, owning what you need, and letting creativity lead the way.
